LIVING: The Most Embarassing Day...again

As a kid, I was quiet. I was unpopular. I rarely spoke up in class, and when I did I was often ridiculed indirectly by my teachers and picked on by my classmates. Every time I opened my mouth, I was humiliated and felt like an idiot. So I didn't talk. I didn't ask questions. My goal in life was to be invisible. 

In junior high, my best friend Andrea taught me not to take things so seriously. She showed me that it's okay to make mistakes, to be silly, and to be a little ditzy every once in a while. She also helped me figure out that people can't laugh at you if they are laughing with you. So throughout my adult life, I've tried to expose all those horrifying little moments that threaten to be the most embarrassing of my life, and I set them out on display for all the world to see. 

And as a result...when someone asks "What is the most embarrassing moment you've ever had", I don't have a single story to share. Because all my stories are already out there, and they don't have the power to embarrass me any more. So...here's what happened today.....

The Tuesday Translucent Tunic

Last month, I bought the cutest white, linen tunic and just have been itching to wear it. But it's been hot in Texas, REALLY HOT, and I just couldn't risk getting sweaty armpits in a crisp white shirt. I mean...how embarrassing would that be??? 

This week has been cool and rainy, so I decided that today was the day! I tossed an extra shirt in my bag as I was leaving for work, JUST in case I needed a backup (God forbid I end up w/ pit stains). 

I got to work, and one of my coworkers immediately said, "Nice shirt." Cool, someone noticed within 5 minutes. I was a happy camper and felt like a million bucks.  Around mid-morning I made trip to the ladies room. As I walked into the restroom I happened to glance at the full length mirror near the door. Then I stopped, took a few steps back, and stared in shock at my reflection. 

The shirt was see-through.  

Not so see-through that you could say it was sheer, but see-through enough that it didn't leave much to the imagination. I could see my bra, my tummy, my waistband, even my belt loops. I thought, "Maybe the back isn't so bad." So I turned to look...nope, it was worse!  You could even see the beige decorative stitching that went around the band of my nude-colored bra. 

After a brief moment of panic I took a deep breath, put on a fake cheerful grin, and quickly made my way back to my office.When I got there, I looked at the guy who sits next to me and said "So, at home, this shirt looks solid white." He looked surprised and replied, "You mean you didn't know it was see-through? I would have said something, but I thought you were trying something new."

Shoot me....shoot me now. 

Not only can people see everything that's under my shirt, but they assume that I did it intentionally. (Once the horror of this wears off, I do eventually  begin to wonder just what kind of reputation I have made for myself among my coworkers.....)

But, hey, it's no big deal, right? Because I brought a backup shirt with me, because I'm a super smart female engineer and we know how to prepare for moments like this. So I calmly pulled the second shirt out of my bag, held it in my hands, and as I looked at it under the florescent lighting I realized that my day was about to get a whole......lot......worse.  

My back up shirt was MORE see-through the one I was wearing.  

I didn't just screw up royally once, I managed to sabotage my own back-up plan too. 

Not so cocky now....

 

So, all I can say is thank the Lord for cardigans, safety pins, and coworkers who have a sense of humor! I told everyone what happened, we laughed at my bad luck, and life went on. 

P.S. Thank you Andrea, for teaching me that it's okay to be an Airhead every once in a while. :) 

P.P.S. I have a favorite sleeveless shirt that has black knit around the armpits and neck. For some unknown reason, every time I wear it, it turns my underarms bright orange. And I throw it on the floor and swear I'll never wear it again. And somehow it makes it in the laundry basket, and eventually I forget and wash it and put it away,  and then I end up wearing it again..... it's a vicious cycle.